Burgiai
by the Red Nothing
Summary: Ever wonder how Gippal lost his eye? Shut up, it was a rhetorical question. Well, fueled by a dare, curiosity, and a bit of that spasticosity that we all love, Rikku sets out to find out.


Term explained :  _cfenmc_ - an Al Bhed word referring to the patterns within the irises, the swirls being light green in most Al Bhed.  I don't like using a lot of Al Bhed, but I don't really think there would be a need for the word in English =p

Summary: Ever wonder how Gippal lost his eye? Shut up, it was a rhetorical question. Well, fueled by a dare, a pinch of curiosity, and mostly her own goofbally stubbornness that we love, Rikku sets out on a mission to find out! (Rated S for silly; hints of Rikku and Gippal. Come on, who can write that pairing in a serious situation? You can? Shut up.-_-)

  
Notes:  I haven't written in awhile, and this was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I  have a crappy word processor, I didn't edit this POS(although I may), and, quite frankly, I don't really write anymore.  I just felt like writing this for a friend I had in mind, and thought that others might get a kick.  So no R&R, CC, ADHD, whatever new-fangled acronymns you guys use are required ^^   And eye no eye kant speel.  Soo mee~.^  
  
Dedicated to Lorraine.. and Tarikk. *grin*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Burgiai by Akai Kuu~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Djose Temple, 01:13 HOURS  
  
_

A petite figure slinked through the shadows; it was amazing, the way she could effortlessly avoid each and every security sphere.

Clad in black and her back hugging a massive statue of her immortalized uncle, Rikku's bright, swirled eyes flicked toward the flight of stairs that lead to her pre- er, subject of this mission.  She was _really _getting into this. She absently thought back to the events that had set this in motion...  
  
"Oooh, poopie!" she hissed quietly as her head bagan to swirl. "A flashback!"

_Airship Celcius, 12:22 HOURS; Recent Past_

From behind, it appeared as if four girls were sitting together on the upper loft of the cabin.  Actually, it was three girls and one of their boyfriends, but Tidus was never exactly the masculine type, especially in the hair department.  The four of them were lounging; Paine leaned against a wall; Yuna was curled up in Tidus' lap on one of the beds, and Rikku sat comfortably on the floor.  

Yes, there were plenty of places to sit.  She happened to like floors, OK? 

They were talking about people; sometimes seriously, maybe about parents like Braska or Jecht; sometimes not, such as Rikku's balding chainsmoking excuse for an elderly blast of flatulence.   At the current moment, Rikku was questioning Tidus about Auron. Something that had been nagging her....

"OK, so, like, Auron died 13 years ago, an' after he dies, he, uhh, rides Sin and takes care of ya?"  
  
"Uhn-huh," Tidus nodded. "At least, as far as I understand it."      

Which he doesn't, thought the four of them in unison. 

"OK, well..." Rikku flipped a braid over her shoulder. "Didn't he start ta smell bad after awhile?!"  
  
Dead silence. 

"Rikku," Paine said at length, "I think you're missing the point..."  Rikku sighed.  
  
"Ooooh, this doesn't make sense!! It's like some Cosmic Writer was trying to come up with an explanation for his existance before some Cosmic Deadline happened and rushed and did a really crappy job!!"   Paine knelt to feel Rikku's forhead, concerned. "What?" The Al Bhed pouted.  
  
"Hey," said Tidus brightly, out of the clear greyish-green sky, "how did that Al Bhed guy lose his eye?"  The randomness caused even his love to blink in confusion.  
  
"He didn't lose it in the Crimson Squad; it was gone when I met him." Paine tossed in briefly.  Rikku realized that the question was directed toward her, which was a lot better than those disturbed stares directed toward her, sooo.... 

"Well jee, I dunno -I mean, I _guess_ I can remember a time when he had both eyes... Maybe." She paused, putting a finger in her mouth.  She could remember them being rather young, and it had been with a single eye that Gippal had always done that nasty trick where he made his _cfenmc_ spin around and around while making some disgusting face and laughing hysterically in this weird-ass voice and...  
  
"Maybe he's a mutant," she wondered aloud.

"Hey," giggled Yuna. "Maybe you should check!"  Rikku blinked.   
  
"Pid, _why _Yunie? Why should I waste my time?" Tidus' response was.. instantaneous.  
  
"Because! I _dare_ you to find out how Gippal lost his eye!"  Yuna and Paine exchanged a glance; this seemed even more random than before, and even borderline stupid. But Rikku's face squinched up in determination.  
  
"You're on!!"

_Djose Temple, 01:14 HOURS(it was a really speedy flashback, ok?)_

Rubbing her head woozily, she climbed the steps to the door to the corridor to the room to the Gippal to the runon.  Flashbacks ALWAYS made her nauseous.  She was gonna get this over with -Top Secret Ninja Rikku!     
  
The loud, obnoxious snores clued her in to Gippal's exact location pretty quick-like.  She couldn't help but roll her eyes as she picked the lock with a hairpin.(Of course, her hairpin was a feather, but _thieves pick locks with hairpins_, and dammit, so would Rikku!)  It had been, what? Three or four years since she'd last bunked anywhere near him, and she _still _would know that snore anywhere?   
  
"Not like that's hard," she muttered before nudging open the door. He sounded _exactly _like a rusted machina would if it were giving birth to thirty chocobos at once during a hurricane and volcanic eruption on Kilika. 

She grinned. "Target sighted," she murmured, although beyond that, she really couldn't tell.  Maybe the eyepatch wasn't even ON... but that would be no fun. Just like giving Gippal a beep with a Commsphere during a sane hour and just _asking _him about his damned eye would have been no fun.  

Come to think of it, walking over and inspecting would be dull as well.....

_Djose Temple: Faction Leader's Quarters, 01:58 HOURS_

"Doo dee doo doo, doo dee doo, doo dooo..."  
  
Rikku shimmied along in her harness.. yes, her harness. She'd managed, don't ask me how, to rig a ... thing... to the ceiling.  She glided far above the floor of the room like something out of a bad Matrix sequel, toward Gippal's bed.  Yes, she would get a clear view of the target, an assessment, a scPINK.

  
Pink. Pinkpinkpinkpink. 

She stared down at him, not sure whether to laugh hysterically or scream out in horror.  Instead, she just dangled from her harness.  

Gippal slept haphazardly, wearing a pink tee and pink boxers.  One sock -pink- was on; he was sprawled across pink sheets, a stuffed moomba tossed into the mix somewhere.  The damned MOOGLE was pink!  Rikku thought her freaking _cfenmc_ would turn pink in another seco--

_Crrck...._

She blinked; Crrck? What the hell was that? It happened again; she realized it was coming from above her... to where her harness was secured....

_Crrck..._

"Cred tysh yht buu-!"

_CRASH!! _ The wiring snapped; Rikku let out a girlish shriek as she fell the ten feet from the tall ceiling toward the ground, before being silenced as she was engulfed into the Sea of Pink Death.

She had braced herself for the worst: a flippal Gippal, a faction in action, and a crapload of other horrendous rhymes.  But.. it didn't come.  Wide-eyed and not breathing, she clutched the moomba's tail.

Silence.

_Okiedokie, _she thought, _This is NOT a problem. Or, at least, it won't be once I get the hell out of here... _She grimaced. _No problem; just slooooooooowly inch outta here, Rikku, and get far, faaaar away... Awaaaay from Floral Psycho..._  
  
The obnoxious snoring was right at her neck.  Rikku wanted to pummel, maim, slay, kill, and otherwise murderize the Al Bhed behind her, but that might wake him up.  She decided to make a break for it between breaths; I mean, come on -did anyone else have a better idea?

She gave herself three breath-long vamps, a musical term used to conjure funny images of Vincent Valentine in readers' heads.  She held her own breath as the last exhalation drew out...

_Now!  
  
_A jumble of stuff happening later left Rikku wondering if she had said that aloud.  Because Gippal _must _have heard that as his cue to clamp his arm down on her like some kind of deranged bivalve!

"Sunnovvabitch," she grumbled, peppiness gone, at least temporarily.  "I wanna g- Eeeack!!" Cut off as the Faction leader rolled over, she held onto Mister Moomblie's tail for dear life as she was dragged along for the ride.  

"Eafysg," murmured Gippal in his sleep.  Rikku stared.  "Grigrs iel ngiia," he went on, yanking her close, practicaly purring like a happy animal as he buried his nose in her hair. To her horror, Rikku realized she was turning a bright pink.   She fumed; she'd had enough.

"GIPPAL!" She roared, sitting up and bashing his chin with her head as she did so, "STOP TALKING LIKE A CACTUAR DANCING ON A KEYBOARD!!" Instantly, his eyes popped open, violently woken from sleep. He processed what had been said, taking his time  as he sat in all of his pink glory.  
  
"Heh heh heh, I wondered if someone would figure out I wasn't actually saying anything...." He rubbed the back of his neck. "But it... it..." He stared.    
  
"Yes?" Growled Rikku, very interested in the part where he would let her go and she could go into therapy for the pink.  And take that moomba. It was so cute; it should no longer be traumatized by fuzzwad!  
  
"Why are you.. uhm.. molesting me?" Gesturing grandly with a hand, he drawled,  "Guardian, sphere hunter, sexual predator?" Nervous laughter, normal voice. "I mean, look whatsyerface, I know everyone wants me, and," he was sympathetic, sincerity in his eyes, "I can understand that, but-"

"Yeah, the pink really does a lot for you, hot stuff," she huffed, resisting the urge to giggle(well, almost resisting.) Gippal's eyes widened in horror.   
  
"Hey! I'll have you know this was NOT intentional!!"  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"I'm serious! I was doing my laundry, and the machina kinda'.. I used the wrong.. uhm.. and my jacket kinda.. it's red, see, and... And STOP LAUGHING!"  It was no use; little Rikku once again began to laugh hysterically.. mercilessly.. evilly and insanely and CRUELLY.  Gippal sighed -could he never win? OK, so he won a lot, the majority of the time, but why couldn't he ALWAYS win?   
  
"Look," he said, sounding a tad pissed at the mirth Rikku was finding in his Great Laundry Escapade, "why're you here?"

  
Rikku blinked. She'd totally forgotten her mission! She looked to Gippal, wondering if he were going to morph into a giant tonberry or something, just because he was that weird, and she felt that weird, and everything was weird.  But there was a bit of curiosity in his eyes, and...

"Whatthehell?!" she lunged, the force knocking Pinkie over. Pinning him by perching on his chest, she stared down into his face.  One.. two.. one, two...    
  
"One, two..."  
  
"Yeah, an' four an' four is five?" Gippal was so beyond confused he couldn't come up with a comparison to complete the sentance.    
  
"Gippal," Rikku said, looking down into his _eyes. _"What happened to your eye?"  
  
"You're not going to molest me then? Damn -eh, eye?" He blinked. "Uh, nothing? Ain't they pretty, I'm told I've got pretty eyes," he added with a flutter of his lashes, setting Rikku off into hysterical giggles oncemore.  "Waaaait," he said through a yawn, "ya mean the eyepatch?" 

"Yes!" She was all ears now; she grabbed him by his collar and shook him violently. This was it, the moment of truth!  She would now achieve Enlightenment! Or she would have, if she also knew what deodorant Auron had used!  
  
Even with Rikku's hold on him, the Gip shrugged suavely. 

"I dunno; I  always thought it made me look cool and stuff...."  
  
-Fin-

AN: This was written for fun and my sister. If you read the whole thing, congrats on mild interest.  For me, this is the obvious answer to Gippal's little eye problem. 


End file.
